Campaign Story

From the time I was a little girl I, Alyxandrhea Parfitt, always envisioned myself being a mother. I grew up caring for my younger cousin and eventually worked in child care, and I loved taking care of others. I became romantically involved with my now husband, Delbrian, back when we were both in middle school, and we’ve been together for 10 years total, 5 years married.

In 2020, we had worked our way to buying a house, getting a four bedroom home for the family we wanted to build. A month later, we learned about our first pregnancy. We were so excited, and we then had that excitement crash down two weeks later.
The appointments that followed that miscarriage were soul crushing. No results telling us why we had experienced this, besides a doctor claiming that I was too overweight to carry a pregnancy to term. After this, and the lack of conclusive results, my husband and I took a break from appointments and began to continue to try for a child.

In the summer of 2021, we had experienced our second pregnancy. In the excitement we had told our close family, we had decorated a room in our home, and we had gotten our hopes up. Two weeks later, we experienced the same loss, a more prevalent feeling of sadness after informing everyone we had told and a decorated room, empty.

After this loss, we found our only infertility specialist in our state, and booked an appointment. I have gone through many tests that gave us only partial reasons for our situation. We learned my AMH levels are low, which means I have a low egg supply. We discovered that I have cysts on my ovaries (PCOS) and that I have an inverted chromosome disorder that is linked with recurrent miscarriages. Throughout this time of tests, trial and error, and various medications we have gone through our loop of sadness 12 times. We have experienced loss 12 times in the span of just 4 years.

Every month, every time we experience a negative test, every appointment gets a little bit harder. We try to cope with it the best we can silently but it is difficult experiencing it. I have a hard time taking it in myself, sometimes it feels like my body has failed me. I eventually stopped working with children because it felt like too much. Some of those around us try to console us with “You’re still young,” “Just relax” “Go on a vacation,” or just “Maybe you should accept it as it is.” Some of those around us who don’t know what we are going through ask us when we will have a child or talk about how much of a burden it is to have a kid. We smile, brushing off the envy we feel, but we know that we aren’t alone either in our feelings.

After talks with our specialist and an outside opinion our best chances moving forwards for us to have our child is IVF with genetic testing done to my eggs. Unfortunately, this process comes with a large fiscal cost that we couldn’t hope to cover by ourselves. $30,000 is what IVF would cost us all around for us to have our chance of little baby Parfitt. Although any amount is greatly appreciated, we hope to raise this money by “selling” puzzle pieces for $20 each. Every $20 donation will warrant a puzzle piece with your name, or whatever inspiring saying you want to place on the back of each piece that we will eventually hang up in our nursery.

Not only is this a reminder to us for all of your support bringing our bundle of hope into the world, but a future value of sentiment to them that there is love and support out there for them as well before and after they were born.

We’re grateful for any help given. Who knew it took a village to have a kid? #QuestToBabyParfitt